I can’t believe how much fun this is to read

Former President George W. Bush has signed up to be the “special guest speaker” for one of those traveling arena-size motivational speaker extravaganzas:

Bush’s first “Get Motivated!” gig is next Monday in Fort Worth. He does a second one in December in San Antonio.

This is the same “business seminar” series that signed up Colin Powell, Rudy Giuliani and Steve Forbes. Laura Bush is also a speaker. The promoters promise:

Topics Covered:

1. How to do cocaine and get hazed at Yale
2. How to take multiple businesses and turn them into dogshit
3. How to apply those same principles to an entire nation
4. How to smirk while doing it all